Friday, June 21, 2013
2PM
One of my new favorite idol groups is 2PM. A Korean idol group. I'm still an Arashian, but I'm currently obsessed. They are seriously adorbs. Like I love love love their new album. ADTOY is my JAM. Lol. My bias has to be .... glah at first Nickhun, but Wooyoung is it for now. Nickhun tied for first or very close second. Then Taec and I generally do like the other members too. Aren't they cute?? They have amusing personalities too. They are Beastly idols! And I like they don't OD on autotune. Something I really dislike when kpop songs have way too much. It is for EFFECT people, don't ruin the whole song please. In my opinion at least.
Friend letdown
SO I have a dilemma. I wish I could make a BFF that stuck.Seriously I have already ended various BFF situations and it is horrendous. It makes me think, what the heck is wrong with me. Sigh. So the gal that is to be my roommate for the upcoming semester, is supposed to be one of my closer pals at school. But for my birthday that was at the beginning of June, I invited her to celebrate with me and a few other pals. And she told me that she had made other plans with other friends that she hadn't seen in like a year or two. And i understand that that is important, but I can't believe she scheduled it on my birthday weekend. I mean I didn't tell her beforehand that I was planning something then because I hadn't even thought of anything yet, but I assumed she would have left that weekend empty if she knew it was my birthday. The sad thing is what if she didn't?
But when I asked her she just pretty much immediately said that she couldn't make it because she had already made plans. I mean if I had just planned a hangout with pals I would have rescheduled it and have made the effort to go. But she didn't even do that. It was so black and white for her. She had plans already so she couldn't obviously change them and she didn't even try to move things around. I would have at least tried to do that. And fine if she really couldn't have made it, I kind of expected her to at least say on my birthday, "Hey I'll give you your present and card next time I see you!" Is that selfish and unreasonable? I know these things aren't about the gifts and such. But I gave her a gift, card, and handwritten note and tried to make her bday as special for her. And a lot of us helped celebrate her bday when we were at school and even people she just met got her a gift. So excuse me for feeling hurt. I have had many a bad birthdays. And have come to expect very little from them. I always have this little flame of hope that get smaller ever year. I wanted to at least see that effort from her but all I got was a Happy birthday (smiley face) text. SO I felt hurt, like that's all? Maybe I'm being a big diva about it, but we are supposedly close and going to be roommates.
I finally confronted her via text after some prodding from my siblings. And it did not end well. She made a lot of lame and weak excuses. And she said something along the lines that if this affects our friendship i respect that, Seriously???? It's not like that was my intention, I just wanted her to know how she had hurt me. If I didn't tell her it would bother me forever as it had for the past few weeks. And it would affect the way I treated her. And I feel like the things she says makes me feel like I'm the bad guy not that I'm saying she is one. But I wanted her to acknowledge how I felt. But I don't think we are that close because I was scared to confront her because i knew how she would react and she would take everything badly. She has messed up logic no offense. Ex: We and some other pals were putting our things in storage for the summer and we lived in different dorms, so i offered to help her move her things along with the other gals expecting the same would be done vice versa. Because it would be faster, duh right? Apparently not because she said it would be better for us to do it separately because it would be too chaotic. Wah? But I went to help nethertheless and that was only when she acknowledged I was right, that helping each other was better.
So our friendship is strained and I'm sad. Sigh. My sister made this BFF who is awesome and they talk everyday even in the summer. And I want to make a friend like that. Who I'm not scared to confront because I'm scared I'll get a really bad reaction or something like that. i don't really know how the living situation will be but I haven't told her I'm planning on transferring, If I can get in that is. I don't want to tell her until i get in. I'm planning to transfer by spring. So if i tell her I don't think it will go over well. But now I REALLY WANT TO TRANSFER.
And there goes another friendship. Man, I believe something must be wrong with me. Or do I have too many expectations of what friends should do for each other. I really don't know.. But I needed to vent somehow. Sigh.
But when I asked her she just pretty much immediately said that she couldn't make it because she had already made plans. I mean if I had just planned a hangout with pals I would have rescheduled it and have made the effort to go. But she didn't even do that. It was so black and white for her. She had plans already so she couldn't obviously change them and she didn't even try to move things around. I would have at least tried to do that. And fine if she really couldn't have made it, I kind of expected her to at least say on my birthday, "Hey I'll give you your present and card next time I see you!" Is that selfish and unreasonable? I know these things aren't about the gifts and such. But I gave her a gift, card, and handwritten note and tried to make her bday as special for her. And a lot of us helped celebrate her bday when we were at school and even people she just met got her a gift. So excuse me for feeling hurt. I have had many a bad birthdays. And have come to expect very little from them. I always have this little flame of hope that get smaller ever year. I wanted to at least see that effort from her but all I got was a Happy birthday (smiley face) text. SO I felt hurt, like that's all? Maybe I'm being a big diva about it, but we are supposedly close and going to be roommates.
I finally confronted her via text after some prodding from my siblings. And it did not end well. She made a lot of lame and weak excuses. And she said something along the lines that if this affects our friendship i respect that, Seriously???? It's not like that was my intention, I just wanted her to know how she had hurt me. If I didn't tell her it would bother me forever as it had for the past few weeks. And it would affect the way I treated her. And I feel like the things she says makes me feel like I'm the bad guy not that I'm saying she is one. But I wanted her to acknowledge how I felt. But I don't think we are that close because I was scared to confront her because i knew how she would react and she would take everything badly. She has messed up logic no offense. Ex: We and some other pals were putting our things in storage for the summer and we lived in different dorms, so i offered to help her move her things along with the other gals expecting the same would be done vice versa. Because it would be faster, duh right? Apparently not because she said it would be better for us to do it separately because it would be too chaotic. Wah? But I went to help nethertheless and that was only when she acknowledged I was right, that helping each other was better.
So our friendship is strained and I'm sad. Sigh. My sister made this BFF who is awesome and they talk everyday even in the summer. And I want to make a friend like that. Who I'm not scared to confront because I'm scared I'll get a really bad reaction or something like that. i don't really know how the living situation will be but I haven't told her I'm planning on transferring, If I can get in that is. I don't want to tell her until i get in. I'm planning to transfer by spring. So if i tell her I don't think it will go over well. But now I REALLY WANT TO TRANSFER.
And there goes another friendship. Man, I believe something must be wrong with me. Or do I have too many expectations of what friends should do for each other. I really don't know.. But I needed to vent somehow. Sigh.
New Haircut-SHORT!
So you know that thing where people say that you can change your life with a haircut, well I finally got one. At least I hope it is life changing. It's the shortest I've gotten I believe. And I actually like it although I totally got ripped off. I went to this Korean salon in NYC and this relatively simple haircut was $60. MIND BLOWN with SHOCK. And I was idiotic enough to pay like a $20 tip. Yea, I think I was soooo shocked I couldn't think coherently. Never again.
Anyhoo, on less shocking news. I had like hair halfway down my back, the longest I've ever grown it because I hadn't cut it in a year. I usually am forced to cut it earlier but I was at college. The last haircut I got I had double layers. Meaning regular layers and layers on top of my head which = all of my hair being different lengths. URG.
Now it is all relatively the same length. Although I chickened out of asking my mom to get highlights. Maybe another time. And I can now pull off headbands. Before they looked quite horrendous on me but now I believe I can pull them off. I can now do mature and cute. Lol. My sister said long hair made me look witchy. Though my mom says long hair suits me better than short. But short hair is so much more hassle free. And less time needed to wash. Yay.
You know when you get your hair washed at a salon and days after is still smells like the salon shampoo? Yup, but it smells nice. >.<
So hopefully I can be a more confident and assertive gal. Though I hope my hair doesn't grow too fast, I want to wear this style back to college.
And I finally got a callback for a job I applied to a few weeks ago. Sad. I mean these are minimum wage jobs, I know I don't have experience, but I still don't have a job. Lads, if it is this hard to find a summer temp job, what about real life? The big bucks, huh?
Also I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but I was pursuing business. Not because I was forced or because I really wanted to do so, but because it was practical and I had nothing else I wanted to do. Even though I went in pretty much knowing it was so not my thing, I pushed through hoping I could somehow make myself like it. But the only classes I really struggled in were those related to business. Big shocker, right? So I finally decided to change majors to ... Nutrition
I took a nutrition class for my science requirement and because it sounded easier than bio or chem. And because I love me my food. Now my dad has these grand plans for me telling me I should be a doctor. Glarg. I really don't see myself doing that and don't people who want to be doctors like already know since high school? Though how they know this eludes me. And I'm squeamish. I don't think I could give someone a shot let alone do surgery. Ehhhhh.....
Yea so now I am planning to transfer schools, fingers crossed I can get in. Most worried about my rec letters, I like talk to no teachers. Sigh me and my introverted self.
Anyhoo, on less shocking news. I had like hair halfway down my back, the longest I've ever grown it because I hadn't cut it in a year. I usually am forced to cut it earlier but I was at college. The last haircut I got I had double layers. Meaning regular layers and layers on top of my head which = all of my hair being different lengths. URG.
Now it is all relatively the same length. Although I chickened out of asking my mom to get highlights. Maybe another time. And I can now pull off headbands. Before they looked quite horrendous on me but now I believe I can pull them off. I can now do mature and cute. Lol. My sister said long hair made me look witchy. Though my mom says long hair suits me better than short. But short hair is so much more hassle free. And less time needed to wash. Yay.
You know when you get your hair washed at a salon and days after is still smells like the salon shampoo? Yup, but it smells nice. >.<
So hopefully I can be a more confident and assertive gal. Though I hope my hair doesn't grow too fast, I want to wear this style back to college.
And I finally got a callback for a job I applied to a few weeks ago. Sad. I mean these are minimum wage jobs, I know I don't have experience, but I still don't have a job. Lads, if it is this hard to find a summer temp job, what about real life? The big bucks, huh?
Also I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but I was pursuing business. Not because I was forced or because I really wanted to do so, but because it was practical and I had nothing else I wanted to do. Even though I went in pretty much knowing it was so not my thing, I pushed through hoping I could somehow make myself like it. But the only classes I really struggled in were those related to business. Big shocker, right? So I finally decided to change majors to ... Nutrition
I took a nutrition class for my science requirement and because it sounded easier than bio or chem. And because I love me my food. Now my dad has these grand plans for me telling me I should be a doctor. Glarg. I really don't see myself doing that and don't people who want to be doctors like already know since high school? Though how they know this eludes me. And I'm squeamish. I don't think I could give someone a shot let alone do surgery. Ehhhhh.....
Yea so now I am planning to transfer schools, fingers crossed I can get in. Most worried about my rec letters, I like talk to no teachers. Sigh me and my introverted self.
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