Before I get into why I don't have Facebook. Quick Update- I'm really in love with Exo right now. Ironically so, almost half the groups I get into is because of my sister. She introduces them to me and usually I hate them at first... I don't know why. But then I get sucked in slowly... Same thing happened with Arashi. I feel like deep down I knew I would get sucked in. Anyhoo. My bias of right now is Lay, but Luhan was my 1st Bias and still really close second. Also I think Suho is totally adorable as well. They really are all so cute. Lay and his dimple and his dancing-swoon. Luhan is so pretty.
Ok anyways I just saw this article on Yahoo (yes i know their articles are kind of eh... but I like perusing to see if there is anything interesting). And I saw this article about how Gen Y will always be unhappy. And good points were made. We are told we can do anything if we put our minds to it and i feel like I am probably in the same mindset of these people. I'm not thinking realistically about how to go about things. Nothing is going to be easy but I haven't felt real hardship in my life nor have i ever had a job not even a part time one. I've been pretty coddled my entire life and I know that is really bad.
Anyways, I'm one of those hold outs, I refuse to get a Facebook. I always say it will die like Myspace and everyone will move on to the next big thing. Although it sort of seems like that is slowly happening with Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr. I have none of these things, well I do have a Tumblr. But I'm unconventional about it. As in I don't follow anyone on Tumblr, i just reblog whatever I feel like. I look through tags of things that i feel like looking at, so I don't really get sucked in. Anyways, I'm someone who can easily get sucked into things and get obsessed with them. I know if I get a Facebook, this will happen and I don't want that to happen. Plus i like to keep my private life ... well private. Plus i don't really want to be bombarded with other people's lives. I have scrolled through facebook through my freinds' accounts and I get really sad. Because I feel envious of their interesting lives (Facebook Envy) and how my life is so boring in comparison. I don't need a constant reminder of that. I can see what a big time waste that is. If I'm going to waste time I'd rather waste it on watching my numerous shows and dramas.
I know I'm probably going to need social media later on in life, I can't be a total social hermit, but i'm going to be a hold out as long as I can. I feel like the people I want to keep in contact with I have in my contact list on my phone. And if they want to talk to me or send me pictures they can do so because they have my number.
My roommate is constantly posting pictures on facebook about pretty much every event in her life.... I think that is a bit excessive, but i guess she is in the group that wants to create that envy. i find it a bit frivolous, but to each their own.
Well back to studying. I'm procrastinating right now if that isn't obvious. Sigh. Well, Ciao Ciao (Reborn from Hitman Reborn if anyone knows)
Monday, November 4, 2013
Friday, June 21, 2013
2PM
One of my new favorite idol groups is 2PM. A Korean idol group. I'm still an Arashian, but I'm currently obsessed. They are seriously adorbs. Like I love love love their new album. ADTOY is my JAM. Lol. My bias has to be .... glah at first Nickhun, but Wooyoung is it for now. Nickhun tied for first or very close second. Then Taec and I generally do like the other members too. Aren't they cute?? They have amusing personalities too. They are Beastly idols! And I like they don't OD on autotune. Something I really dislike when kpop songs have way too much. It is for EFFECT people, don't ruin the whole song please. In my opinion at least.
Friend letdown
SO I have a dilemma. I wish I could make a BFF that stuck.Seriously I have already ended various BFF situations and it is horrendous. It makes me think, what the heck is wrong with me. Sigh. So the gal that is to be my roommate for the upcoming semester, is supposed to be one of my closer pals at school. But for my birthday that was at the beginning of June, I invited her to celebrate with me and a few other pals. And she told me that she had made other plans with other friends that she hadn't seen in like a year or two. And i understand that that is important, but I can't believe she scheduled it on my birthday weekend. I mean I didn't tell her beforehand that I was planning something then because I hadn't even thought of anything yet, but I assumed she would have left that weekend empty if she knew it was my birthday. The sad thing is what if she didn't?
But when I asked her she just pretty much immediately said that she couldn't make it because she had already made plans. I mean if I had just planned a hangout with pals I would have rescheduled it and have made the effort to go. But she didn't even do that. It was so black and white for her. She had plans already so she couldn't obviously change them and she didn't even try to move things around. I would have at least tried to do that. And fine if she really couldn't have made it, I kind of expected her to at least say on my birthday, "Hey I'll give you your present and card next time I see you!" Is that selfish and unreasonable? I know these things aren't about the gifts and such. But I gave her a gift, card, and handwritten note and tried to make her bday as special for her. And a lot of us helped celebrate her bday when we were at school and even people she just met got her a gift. So excuse me for feeling hurt. I have had many a bad birthdays. And have come to expect very little from them. I always have this little flame of hope that get smaller ever year. I wanted to at least see that effort from her but all I got was a Happy birthday (smiley face) text. SO I felt hurt, like that's all? Maybe I'm being a big diva about it, but we are supposedly close and going to be roommates.
I finally confronted her via text after some prodding from my siblings. And it did not end well. She made a lot of lame and weak excuses. And she said something along the lines that if this affects our friendship i respect that, Seriously???? It's not like that was my intention, I just wanted her to know how she had hurt me. If I didn't tell her it would bother me forever as it had for the past few weeks. And it would affect the way I treated her. And I feel like the things she says makes me feel like I'm the bad guy not that I'm saying she is one. But I wanted her to acknowledge how I felt. But I don't think we are that close because I was scared to confront her because i knew how she would react and she would take everything badly. She has messed up logic no offense. Ex: We and some other pals were putting our things in storage for the summer and we lived in different dorms, so i offered to help her move her things along with the other gals expecting the same would be done vice versa. Because it would be faster, duh right? Apparently not because she said it would be better for us to do it separately because it would be too chaotic. Wah? But I went to help nethertheless and that was only when she acknowledged I was right, that helping each other was better.
So our friendship is strained and I'm sad. Sigh. My sister made this BFF who is awesome and they talk everyday even in the summer. And I want to make a friend like that. Who I'm not scared to confront because I'm scared I'll get a really bad reaction or something like that. i don't really know how the living situation will be but I haven't told her I'm planning on transferring, If I can get in that is. I don't want to tell her until i get in. I'm planning to transfer by spring. So if i tell her I don't think it will go over well. But now I REALLY WANT TO TRANSFER.
And there goes another friendship. Man, I believe something must be wrong with me. Or do I have too many expectations of what friends should do for each other. I really don't know.. But I needed to vent somehow. Sigh.
But when I asked her she just pretty much immediately said that she couldn't make it because she had already made plans. I mean if I had just planned a hangout with pals I would have rescheduled it and have made the effort to go. But she didn't even do that. It was so black and white for her. She had plans already so she couldn't obviously change them and she didn't even try to move things around. I would have at least tried to do that. And fine if she really couldn't have made it, I kind of expected her to at least say on my birthday, "Hey I'll give you your present and card next time I see you!" Is that selfish and unreasonable? I know these things aren't about the gifts and such. But I gave her a gift, card, and handwritten note and tried to make her bday as special for her. And a lot of us helped celebrate her bday when we were at school and even people she just met got her a gift. So excuse me for feeling hurt. I have had many a bad birthdays. And have come to expect very little from them. I always have this little flame of hope that get smaller ever year. I wanted to at least see that effort from her but all I got was a Happy birthday (smiley face) text. SO I felt hurt, like that's all? Maybe I'm being a big diva about it, but we are supposedly close and going to be roommates.
I finally confronted her via text after some prodding from my siblings. And it did not end well. She made a lot of lame and weak excuses. And she said something along the lines that if this affects our friendship i respect that, Seriously???? It's not like that was my intention, I just wanted her to know how she had hurt me. If I didn't tell her it would bother me forever as it had for the past few weeks. And it would affect the way I treated her. And I feel like the things she says makes me feel like I'm the bad guy not that I'm saying she is one. But I wanted her to acknowledge how I felt. But I don't think we are that close because I was scared to confront her because i knew how she would react and she would take everything badly. She has messed up logic no offense. Ex: We and some other pals were putting our things in storage for the summer and we lived in different dorms, so i offered to help her move her things along with the other gals expecting the same would be done vice versa. Because it would be faster, duh right? Apparently not because she said it would be better for us to do it separately because it would be too chaotic. Wah? But I went to help nethertheless and that was only when she acknowledged I was right, that helping each other was better.
So our friendship is strained and I'm sad. Sigh. My sister made this BFF who is awesome and they talk everyday even in the summer. And I want to make a friend like that. Who I'm not scared to confront because I'm scared I'll get a really bad reaction or something like that. i don't really know how the living situation will be but I haven't told her I'm planning on transferring, If I can get in that is. I don't want to tell her until i get in. I'm planning to transfer by spring. So if i tell her I don't think it will go over well. But now I REALLY WANT TO TRANSFER.
And there goes another friendship. Man, I believe something must be wrong with me. Or do I have too many expectations of what friends should do for each other. I really don't know.. But I needed to vent somehow. Sigh.
New Haircut-SHORT!
So you know that thing where people say that you can change your life with a haircut, well I finally got one. At least I hope it is life changing. It's the shortest I've gotten I believe. And I actually like it although I totally got ripped off. I went to this Korean salon in NYC and this relatively simple haircut was $60. MIND BLOWN with SHOCK. And I was idiotic enough to pay like a $20 tip. Yea, I think I was soooo shocked I couldn't think coherently. Never again.
Anyhoo, on less shocking news. I had like hair halfway down my back, the longest I've ever grown it because I hadn't cut it in a year. I usually am forced to cut it earlier but I was at college. The last haircut I got I had double layers. Meaning regular layers and layers on top of my head which = all of my hair being different lengths. URG.
Now it is all relatively the same length. Although I chickened out of asking my mom to get highlights. Maybe another time. And I can now pull off headbands. Before they looked quite horrendous on me but now I believe I can pull them off. I can now do mature and cute. Lol. My sister said long hair made me look witchy. Though my mom says long hair suits me better than short. But short hair is so much more hassle free. And less time needed to wash. Yay.
You know when you get your hair washed at a salon and days after is still smells like the salon shampoo? Yup, but it smells nice. >.<
So hopefully I can be a more confident and assertive gal. Though I hope my hair doesn't grow too fast, I want to wear this style back to college.
And I finally got a callback for a job I applied to a few weeks ago. Sad. I mean these are minimum wage jobs, I know I don't have experience, but I still don't have a job. Lads, if it is this hard to find a summer temp job, what about real life? The big bucks, huh?
Also I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but I was pursuing business. Not because I was forced or because I really wanted to do so, but because it was practical and I had nothing else I wanted to do. Even though I went in pretty much knowing it was so not my thing, I pushed through hoping I could somehow make myself like it. But the only classes I really struggled in were those related to business. Big shocker, right? So I finally decided to change majors to ... Nutrition
I took a nutrition class for my science requirement and because it sounded easier than bio or chem. And because I love me my food. Now my dad has these grand plans for me telling me I should be a doctor. Glarg. I really don't see myself doing that and don't people who want to be doctors like already know since high school? Though how they know this eludes me. And I'm squeamish. I don't think I could give someone a shot let alone do surgery. Ehhhhh.....
Yea so now I am planning to transfer schools, fingers crossed I can get in. Most worried about my rec letters, I like talk to no teachers. Sigh me and my introverted self.
Anyhoo, on less shocking news. I had like hair halfway down my back, the longest I've ever grown it because I hadn't cut it in a year. I usually am forced to cut it earlier but I was at college. The last haircut I got I had double layers. Meaning regular layers and layers on top of my head which = all of my hair being different lengths. URG.
Now it is all relatively the same length. Although I chickened out of asking my mom to get highlights. Maybe another time. And I can now pull off headbands. Before they looked quite horrendous on me but now I believe I can pull them off. I can now do mature and cute. Lol. My sister said long hair made me look witchy. Though my mom says long hair suits me better than short. But short hair is so much more hassle free. And less time needed to wash. Yay.
You know when you get your hair washed at a salon and days after is still smells like the salon shampoo? Yup, but it smells nice. >.<
So hopefully I can be a more confident and assertive gal. Though I hope my hair doesn't grow too fast, I want to wear this style back to college.
And I finally got a callback for a job I applied to a few weeks ago. Sad. I mean these are minimum wage jobs, I know I don't have experience, but I still don't have a job. Lads, if it is this hard to find a summer temp job, what about real life? The big bucks, huh?
Also I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but I was pursuing business. Not because I was forced or because I really wanted to do so, but because it was practical and I had nothing else I wanted to do. Even though I went in pretty much knowing it was so not my thing, I pushed through hoping I could somehow make myself like it. But the only classes I really struggled in were those related to business. Big shocker, right? So I finally decided to change majors to ... Nutrition
I took a nutrition class for my science requirement and because it sounded easier than bio or chem. And because I love me my food. Now my dad has these grand plans for me telling me I should be a doctor. Glarg. I really don't see myself doing that and don't people who want to be doctors like already know since high school? Though how they know this eludes me. And I'm squeamish. I don't think I could give someone a shot let alone do surgery. Ehhhhh.....
Yea so now I am planning to transfer schools, fingers crossed I can get in. Most worried about my rec letters, I like talk to no teachers. Sigh me and my introverted self.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Cream Blush and Summer Jobs
So I had gotten a blush before, the l'oreal true match blush in rosy outlook. It was ok, but then I dropped it on the floor by accident and half of it fell out. Bummer, barely used it too, what a waste. But the thing I didn't know was how glittery it is, it is definitely not that matte. When I went out into the sun, my friends said I looked like a sparkly vampire from Twilight. Ugh, embarrassing much? Plus it was a bit too pink for me.
So recently I decided to try out a cream blush because I wanted something more matte, so I got Sonia Kashuk Creme blush in Rosey. The color is really gorgeous and I kind of didn't care if it actually went well with my skin tone because I just love the color. It sort of has an orangey undertone, others described it as coral, and I tried a bit out and it looks pretty good because it blends easily and really isn't that harsh. But still going to be out on the lookout for a good powder blush, since I got the brushes for them so don't want to waste them.
Still foraying into the girly world of makeup lol. I kind of gave up on eyeshadow since I'm so bad at it. Bleh.
Also on another note, I've grown my hair out pretty long and am due for a haircut. But I hate my boring dark hair. I kind of want to get highlights to lighten it up and a cool haircut, but am a bit afraid to ask my mom because I've never had anything like that before and feel a bit awkward to ask. But if I just cut it, it will grow back and i'll look the same as before. I really want to change things up so that I can feel like a different person. Not that awkward, quiet girl. Maybe boost some confidence? I dunno. Sigh. I want to change but I don't want to at the same time. It's complicated.
Side note: Gosh, looking for summer jobs, but I've never had one before, sad right? It's hard to find places that will take you without experience. But how the heck do I get experience if I can't get a job?
Also BTW I don't take credit for the following picture, the rights belong to mica g.... (whomever you may be, thanks!)
So recently I decided to try out a cream blush because I wanted something more matte, so I got Sonia Kashuk Creme blush in Rosey. The color is really gorgeous and I kind of didn't care if it actually went well with my skin tone because I just love the color. It sort of has an orangey undertone, others described it as coral, and I tried a bit out and it looks pretty good because it blends easily and really isn't that harsh. But still going to be out on the lookout for a good powder blush, since I got the brushes for them so don't want to waste them.
Still foraying into the girly world of makeup lol. I kind of gave up on eyeshadow since I'm so bad at it. Bleh.
Also on another note, I've grown my hair out pretty long and am due for a haircut. But I hate my boring dark hair. I kind of want to get highlights to lighten it up and a cool haircut, but am a bit afraid to ask my mom because I've never had anything like that before and feel a bit awkward to ask. But if I just cut it, it will grow back and i'll look the same as before. I really want to change things up so that I can feel like a different person. Not that awkward, quiet girl. Maybe boost some confidence? I dunno. Sigh. I want to change but I don't want to at the same time. It's complicated.
Side note: Gosh, looking for summer jobs, but I've never had one before, sad right? It's hard to find places that will take you without experience. But how the heck do I get experience if I can't get a job?
Also BTW I don't take credit for the following picture, the rights belong to mica g.... (whomever you may be, thanks!)
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Eyeshadow
Oww. My eyes hurt. I tried using eyeshadow today, my 3rd time ever. Fail, but not as big of a fail as other times. Now I really regret buying eyeshadow and brushes when I don't know how to use them properly. I keep getting particles everywhere and into my eyes. I constantly look like either a panda, raccoon, or just have a black eye. Gosh, none of the other colors really show up well, just the black. I should just stick to eyeliner and blush. Plus when I use eyeliner on the waterline, my eyes water and I'm using pencil, so it isn't waterproof so it just runs. That's why I just put it on the top lid now because it's really annoying. I wonder how girls put makeup on so pro like. Maybe because they started doing this stuff since like middle school and I'm just starting now in college. I still believe you shouldn't wear a lot of makeup, but I like how eyeliner darkens my eyes so I look more alert rather than sleepy eyed. And a little blush (even though my face usually gets easily flushed) adds a warm glow to your face.
My Hair Problems
Like every girl (or almost I believe) we care very deeply for our hair. I remember as a young girl when I would get these horrendous haircuts and would burst into tears after. My mom would always say why are you crying, it's just hair. But hair can really change the way you look. My idols, Arashi, are constantly changing their hairstyles, some make them remarkably handsome, some are just a bit cringe worthy (not that it decreases my love for them, but I always hope that that hairstyle would pass and never come back. I'm quite delighted that Sho has changed back to his "princess" hair. I also really love his 5x10 haircut.
Anyways, in the beginning of the year (well last summer) I got a haircut before going to school. I asked for side bangs (I didn't really get that as I requested) and layers because I have fine hair and I don't like the one length cut. But the lady asked me if I wanted layers on top and I didn't really know what that meant but I said sure and the outcome was that almost every part of my hair was a different length. At first it just looked ridiculous, but as it grew out it looked better. But it's still all different lengths which drives me crazy. So since the semester is almost over, only 3 more weeks!!! Still no job, well it's my fault since I haven't exactly stared looking nor have I made my resume. T.T So I really want to change my hair in a unique manner, not just another layered haircut. I kind of wanted a bob, but I got my weird layered haircut instead. Sigh.
So I have really dark hair, like black, and it's so boring. So I want to try to get lighter brown highlights. I've never dyed my hair or anything of the sort, I am au naturel. But I feel like I really need a change.But I'm a bit scared it won't look good and unlike a bad haircut, you can hide by tying it up or it will eventually grow out. But if you color it and it looks weird, you can't hide that. So I'm worried about that. Also I'm worried about asking my mom. Also I looked online and highlights are expensive!!! So I'm worried about the price. Sigh.
Anyways, in the beginning of the year (well last summer) I got a haircut before going to school. I asked for side bangs (I didn't really get that as I requested) and layers because I have fine hair and I don't like the one length cut. But the lady asked me if I wanted layers on top and I didn't really know what that meant but I said sure and the outcome was that almost every part of my hair was a different length. At first it just looked ridiculous, but as it grew out it looked better. But it's still all different lengths which drives me crazy. So since the semester is almost over, only 3 more weeks!!! Still no job, well it's my fault since I haven't exactly stared looking nor have I made my resume. T.T So I really want to change my hair in a unique manner, not just another layered haircut. I kind of wanted a bob, but I got my weird layered haircut instead. Sigh.
So I have really dark hair, like black, and it's so boring. So I want to try to get lighter brown highlights. I've never dyed my hair or anything of the sort, I am au naturel. But I feel like I really need a change.But I'm a bit scared it won't look good and unlike a bad haircut, you can hide by tying it up or it will eventually grow out. But if you color it and it looks weird, you can't hide that. So I'm worried about that. Also I'm worried about asking my mom. Also I looked online and highlights are expensive!!! So I'm worried about the price. Sigh.
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