Growing up I didn't enjoy clothes shopping at all nor was I interested in makeup. I prefer food shopping (which half the time I still do) But in the past year or two I started getting interested in these things like clothes and now even makeup. I'm a total noob.
Story Time: Most girls in middle school or elementary school beg their moms to let them pierce their ears or so I read in books and movies, but are often denied. Well, it was the opposite for me. Once we were in a mall and my mom was like, "Hey why don't you go and get your ears pierced?" and I was like No, let's go to the food court instead. Yes, I was that kind of child. I just didn't like the pain (staple looking instrument) I heard it hurts more the older you get to get your ears pierced, so I'm just getting more worried about that. I might never do it. Plus EAR INFECTION! Yup, I'm a bit of a wuss. Don't like unnecessary pain like tattoos and piercings!!
Ok, so I've really gotten into shopping now. I just want to keep evolving my wardrobe. I was a sweats and sneakers kind of gal before, that's pretty much what I wore everyday to school. Because I didn't feel the need to get all dressed up in high school, but now in college I dress much better. I'm developing a style I guess. I really love boots! I don't think I'll really ever be a high heels kind of gal since I have the worst sense of balance ever! But boots are awesome, but I still love a really comfy pair of sneakers. I got cooler looking ones that are black and have some bright pink and blue. I used to get gray... yup.
So a few months ago, I purchased my first bit of makeup. I got some mascara and lipstick. Recently I got two cheap eyeliners. And today I went to Ulta with some buddies for the first time. And got a Real Techniques brush set, a L'Oreal True Match Blush in Rosy Outlook, and a NYX Naked Eye Shadow Pallete. Gosh makeup is expensive. Spent $40. Also need to get a eyeliner sharpener.
I feel like I should learn how to put on makeup. But I hate the feeling that I need to put on makeup to be pretty. One day I want to meet someone who will like me au natural rather than slathered on with makeup.
But for jobs and later on where it is kind of dictated by society that you should wear a bit of makeup I don't want to be totally clueless. Hopefully when I can make some dough and learn how to apply this stuff properly I can get more expensive stuff like Tarte, Urban Decay, Stilla, etc. But for now I will stick with my cheaper stuff. Which I still find to be quite expensive!
So this is what it means to be a girl huh? I mean luckily for my parents I only started feeling like a girl later on so I don't blow a boatload of cash on girly stuff. I want to make some money so I can buy things without feeling guilty. My friend has a ton of makeup like a mini store. I'm quite shocked. She has a whole drawer full of nail polish, probably 20+ lipsticks, etc. And some brand name stuff like Chanel, Urban Decay, etc. I don't aspire to have that much, but I should just shop through her stuff lol.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Thursday, March 7, 2013
My tentative schedule for fall semester and my annoying "friend" problem
This is what I want to take.
1. Intro to Accounting Part 2
2. Intro to Computer and Stats
3. Social Psychology
4. ______ language class
5. Philosophy class: Critical thinking
6. Legal studies class: Law and the Consumer
7.Nutrition and Health
All together this would be 24 credits. I'm scared I won't be able to handle all of this. Right now I take 18 credits and last semester I took 19 credits. I felt ok then, but a lot of these classes will have a boatload of reading which can be very tiring. Also I'm not good with math at all so I'm worried about accounting and stats. I feel like I should either cut one of these classes and take 21 credits which is still a lot or just try it out and if I really can't do it I should drop one class after like a week.
I mean I need to talk to my parents and my adviser. But you know how I often complain about my procrastination, well often only under some sort of pressure do I get things done. Which is bad. But if I have a tougher work load I won't slack off as much right? Hopefully so or this work load could kill me. T.T
I want to push myself because I don't know what is my limit. But I'm worried too. What if it is too much and = mental breakdown?
Anywho on another note. Glarg I have this "friend" who is always complaining that he is bored. And he is also very condescending as well. Saying things like "that is so easy, why don't you understand that?" well not to me but other friends in general. When I met him I got that impression, but than I got to know him and he seemed ok, a bit boring and lackluster in the personality dept but relatively harmless. But lately he has gone back to that 1st impression. He is just annoying to be around. He is supposedly in so many clubs but still complains of boredom.
Also when I first met him and I told him I was a business major, he said his roommate was one too. And when I tell him I'm busy, He has the gall to say, "Why?" "My roommate is a business major and he has tons of free time." That is so insulting. Just because we are the same major doesn't really mean anything.1. I also take other classes as well like gen eds. 2. I find other ways to occupy myself so that I'm not bored. And who says that, seriously. Gosh.
I introduced him to Arashi because he kept complaining of boredom and I was happy to try to get people to like them. And I sent him like 50 songs. He doesn't appreciate the hard work of a fan and how hard it is to support my Arashi through the fandom and a lot of restrictions and what not. All he says is "Isn't it easy?" And I put my foot down. NO you don't deserve to get to know Arashi.. Put in the effort and you shall get rewarded. Instead of complaining all the time go out and do something ok? We are all getting sick and tired of your complaints. Yes, it was sad that you supposedly didn't have friends in high school, but if this was how you acted as well (unconsciously too I must add) then I can kind of see why. Is that mean yes, but is it the truth, yes. A girl can only tolerate so much before she explodes. And this is me exploding all up on this blog. My place of ranting. And as you can see totally random. Often my headings probably only have to do with like 40% of the actually post. The rest is just a rant on my life.
1. Intro to Accounting Part 2
2. Intro to Computer and Stats
3. Social Psychology
4. ______ language class
5. Philosophy class: Critical thinking
6. Legal studies class: Law and the Consumer
7.Nutrition and Health
All together this would be 24 credits. I'm scared I won't be able to handle all of this. Right now I take 18 credits and last semester I took 19 credits. I felt ok then, but a lot of these classes will have a boatload of reading which can be very tiring. Also I'm not good with math at all so I'm worried about accounting and stats. I feel like I should either cut one of these classes and take 21 credits which is still a lot or just try it out and if I really can't do it I should drop one class after like a week.
I mean I need to talk to my parents and my adviser. But you know how I often complain about my procrastination, well often only under some sort of pressure do I get things done. Which is bad. But if I have a tougher work load I won't slack off as much right? Hopefully so or this work load could kill me. T.T
I want to push myself because I don't know what is my limit. But I'm worried too. What if it is too much and = mental breakdown?
Anywho on another note. Glarg I have this "friend" who is always complaining that he is bored. And he is also very condescending as well. Saying things like "that is so easy, why don't you understand that?" well not to me but other friends in general. When I met him I got that impression, but than I got to know him and he seemed ok, a bit boring and lackluster in the personality dept but relatively harmless. But lately he has gone back to that 1st impression. He is just annoying to be around. He is supposedly in so many clubs but still complains of boredom.
Also when I first met him and I told him I was a business major, he said his roommate was one too. And when I tell him I'm busy, He has the gall to say, "Why?" "My roommate is a business major and he has tons of free time." That is so insulting. Just because we are the same major doesn't really mean anything.1. I also take other classes as well like gen eds. 2. I find other ways to occupy myself so that I'm not bored. And who says that, seriously. Gosh.
I introduced him to Arashi because he kept complaining of boredom and I was happy to try to get people to like them. And I sent him like 50 songs. He doesn't appreciate the hard work of a fan and how hard it is to support my Arashi through the fandom and a lot of restrictions and what not. All he says is "Isn't it easy?" And I put my foot down. NO you don't deserve to get to know Arashi.. Put in the effort and you shall get rewarded. Instead of complaining all the time go out and do something ok? We are all getting sick and tired of your complaints. Yes, it was sad that you supposedly didn't have friends in high school, but if this was how you acted as well (unconsciously too I must add) then I can kind of see why. Is that mean yes, but is it the truth, yes. A girl can only tolerate so much before she explodes. And this is me exploding all up on this blog. My place of ranting. And as you can see totally random. Often my headings probably only have to do with like 40% of the actually post. The rest is just a rant on my life.
Why cursing is BAD!
In one episode of America's Supernanny, I saw a young child of perhaps 5 or 6 cuss. As in the F word, people. By golly that was quite horrifying. One of the things I really dislike is cussing esp. in public. Profanity is cathartic, but I feel like it is something you should say in your head or in private by yourself. I don't cuss out loud and only once in a while in my head or in private when I get angry. I find it embarrassing to do so in public. I guess you can compare it to peeing in the streets where everyone can see you. That's what a potty mouth is to me. It's just foul and should be done in private.
Anyways beyond that rant. In my house, since as I mentioned my parents aren't really around and I am the substitute parent. Growing up I instilled in my younger siblings then the same rules of not cussing. What I consider cursing: Obviously the F word, the S word, the D word, the H*ll word, the A word (another word for donkey or tushie) and mean spirited and politically incorrect things like misusing the word gay or retarded. One of my pet peeves is when people say "that is so gay" or "you are retarded." 1. That is highly offensive to people who are mentally retarded and people who are gay. You are turning something into a negative thing. You are associating a negative connotation with that word. You are equating the word gay= stupid and that isn't true at all. If you think something is stupid than just say that. 2. I hate that this is so commonly entrenched into society, this way of thinking. I wanted at least my younger siblings to not do this. I'm scared that since I'm in college I can't stop them from picking these things up from their schoolmates and their friends esp. at this malleable age of middle school and the beginnings of high school.
Story time: We (my siblings and I) were watching H*ll's Kitchen. And in our family we can't even say the name of the show. My younger sister came up with a nickname, "Bell's Chicken"." So as you may or may not know, Gordan Ramsey cusses like a maniac. They usually beep out the F word, but other words are very much there. And after sitting there you get a little brainwashed. And afterwards we were setting up to eat dinner and my younger siblings were dragging their feet to help and I got very angry and I just yelled, "Get off your lazy a**es" And it was like an earth shattering moment. I mean if was the most horrible feeling I had every had (well not really, but it felt horrible). And they were teasing me and saying oh you said a bad word and they hold it over my head even to today. I'm so ashamed. This may sound very bizarre as it may be quite commonplace in other families. But I take the no cursing thing pretty seriously.
It may be bad but I sort of taught this to my siblings my shaming them. I associate saying a bad word with a feeling of shame (as I felt when I cursed) to get them not to curse. I mean I find it pretty effective until they can understand for themselves that it is a bad thing. I was never taught this by my parents, I came to this understanding that one shouldn't curse. It is a graceless action. My parents don't often curse and even if they did they aren't really around. See how easily swayed I was to curse because I heard it for a while. Imagine a family that just all cursed at each other of course a child would think this is normal and ok to do. And copy it. That is exactly why you must teach by example.
And I'm not sure if this comes off like we are some overly Christian family or something like that. Not at all, we are pretty much agnostic. I don't think you have to be religious at all to have good morals and ethics. Not that there is anything wrong with being religious, but it's just not my cup of tea. I esp. dislike when people try to convert you or force their beliefs on you. Some lady randomly stopped me (just me, weird and she was already talking to other people, so why did she stop me??) and asked me "Can I ask you something?" And i thought she wanted directions or something, but she was like, "Do you study the Bible?" and i shook my head no and she said "do you know about the Heavenly Mother" and I kept shaking my head and she went on a little bit and said something about reaching eternal life or something like that. And me being polite was shaking head no because again I mention I hate people trying to convert me. I kind of just wanted to spew out I'm agnostic/atheist. But I feel like she would just try harder to convert me and I really wanted to leave. One thing I don't understand is, why the need to achieve eternal life? My thing is just try to live this life to the best and you don't have to live forever and ever.I'm sorry for my rant. >.<
I mean I've learned a lot and I definitely want to learn from my parents what they did right and learn from their parenting mistakes. I know I have a temper sometimes and just scream at people to do things, but I'm trying to improve that. Self improvement people! lol Ok I have to study blah. Also SPRING BREAK! ... But since I procrastinated so much I have a boatload of work to do. Including a research paper and presentation,studying, reading, glarg. Why my procrastinator self, why???? Need to work on this ASAP!
Anyways beyond that rant. In my house, since as I mentioned my parents aren't really around and I am the substitute parent. Growing up I instilled in my younger siblings then the same rules of not cussing. What I consider cursing: Obviously the F word, the S word, the D word, the H*ll word, the A word (another word for donkey or tushie) and mean spirited and politically incorrect things like misusing the word gay or retarded. One of my pet peeves is when people say "that is so gay" or "you are retarded." 1. That is highly offensive to people who are mentally retarded and people who are gay. You are turning something into a negative thing. You are associating a negative connotation with that word. You are equating the word gay= stupid and that isn't true at all. If you think something is stupid than just say that. 2. I hate that this is so commonly entrenched into society, this way of thinking. I wanted at least my younger siblings to not do this. I'm scared that since I'm in college I can't stop them from picking these things up from their schoolmates and their friends esp. at this malleable age of middle school and the beginnings of high school.
Story time: We (my siblings and I) were watching H*ll's Kitchen. And in our family we can't even say the name of the show. My younger sister came up with a nickname, "Bell's Chicken"." So as you may or may not know, Gordan Ramsey cusses like a maniac. They usually beep out the F word, but other words are very much there. And after sitting there you get a little brainwashed. And afterwards we were setting up to eat dinner and my younger siblings were dragging their feet to help and I got very angry and I just yelled, "Get off your lazy a**es" And it was like an earth shattering moment. I mean if was the most horrible feeling I had every had (well not really, but it felt horrible). And they were teasing me and saying oh you said a bad word and they hold it over my head even to today. I'm so ashamed. This may sound very bizarre as it may be quite commonplace in other families. But I take the no cursing thing pretty seriously.
It may be bad but I sort of taught this to my siblings my shaming them. I associate saying a bad word with a feeling of shame (as I felt when I cursed) to get them not to curse. I mean I find it pretty effective until they can understand for themselves that it is a bad thing. I was never taught this by my parents, I came to this understanding that one shouldn't curse. It is a graceless action. My parents don't often curse and even if they did they aren't really around. See how easily swayed I was to curse because I heard it for a while. Imagine a family that just all cursed at each other of course a child would think this is normal and ok to do. And copy it. That is exactly why you must teach by example.
And I'm not sure if this comes off like we are some overly Christian family or something like that. Not at all, we are pretty much agnostic. I don't think you have to be religious at all to have good morals and ethics. Not that there is anything wrong with being religious, but it's just not my cup of tea. I esp. dislike when people try to convert you or force their beliefs on you. Some lady randomly stopped me (just me, weird and she was already talking to other people, so why did she stop me??) and asked me "Can I ask you something?" And i thought she wanted directions or something, but she was like, "Do you study the Bible?" and i shook my head no and she said "do you know about the Heavenly Mother" and I kept shaking my head and she went on a little bit and said something about reaching eternal life or something like that. And me being polite was shaking head no because again I mention I hate people trying to convert me. I kind of just wanted to spew out I'm agnostic/atheist. But I feel like she would just try harder to convert me and I really wanted to leave. One thing I don't understand is, why the need to achieve eternal life? My thing is just try to live this life to the best and you don't have to live forever and ever.I'm sorry for my rant. >.<
I mean I've learned a lot and I definitely want to learn from my parents what they did right and learn from their parenting mistakes. I know I have a temper sometimes and just scream at people to do things, but I'm trying to improve that. Self improvement people! lol Ok I have to study blah. Also SPRING BREAK! ... But since I procrastinated so much I have a boatload of work to do. Including a research paper and presentation,studying, reading, glarg. Why my procrastinator self, why???? Need to work on this ASAP!
Everybody needs some Arash in their life!!
I think this is true. Arashi to me is just a burst happiness and positive energy and full of love. I think everyone needs something like this, ideally of course it would be Arashi, but that's a bit impossible. I just felt like I needed to say this cause I was watching America's Supernanny and it really made me think. I was seeing these horribly out of control kids and parents. It made me think of my family.
I think my family has some of these faults (like all families) to a certain degree, definitely not to the point of these kids. Both my parents work extremely hard and when I was growing up and even now I rarely saw them during the week because they were often gone by the time I got up and would come home late at night. I knew they did it to support our family. So me and my siblings were raised by my grandparents on my father's side. They lived with us and did and still do so many things for us. Like cooking and cleaning and all those things that parents do for us.
Most kids feel neglected and are very upset when they don't see their parents like this. But for me, I dunno if this is weird or a bit messed up, but I didn't particularly mind maybe because I was used to it. But I enjoyed my freedom (in a sense), so maybe that is why I don't really like family time that much. Maybe it's because my parents do nag me like any other parents and I felt like whenever we were together I was always being nagged. I felt like my parents didn't ask me things like how was your day today or did you do anything fun today. It was just, "so how did you improve today?" Things like that (which are theoretically good), but most days I don't do anything that I consider a large improvement, but my parents want me to strive for that, and I know that's a good thing, but I found it very stressful that i would have to come up with something of some sort as not to disappoint them.
My brother and sister and my twin can all be very rowdy. I see myself as the substitute parent when my grandparents and parents aren't around. I do the cooking (to the best of my abilities), the cleaning up, the chores, and ordering the other kids to do chores. I feel like this should be my older sister (twin)'s job to set by example, but often times she is the worst of them all.
In Supernanny, technology is shown to be a big factor of why the family is so splintered. I agree. But I'm a hypocrite, I feel like I can't live without my computer and we are all often separated on our electronics. And not out and about. I don't know if I can change that part of me though. I will try to. The problem with me is that unlike others, I often understand my problems and faults, but I have no motivation to actually change them.
This post is getting quite long so I'm going to continue on the next post.
I think my family has some of these faults (like all families) to a certain degree, definitely not to the point of these kids. Both my parents work extremely hard and when I was growing up and even now I rarely saw them during the week because they were often gone by the time I got up and would come home late at night. I knew they did it to support our family. So me and my siblings were raised by my grandparents on my father's side. They lived with us and did and still do so many things for us. Like cooking and cleaning and all those things that parents do for us.
Most kids feel neglected and are very upset when they don't see their parents like this. But for me, I dunno if this is weird or a bit messed up, but I didn't particularly mind maybe because I was used to it. But I enjoyed my freedom (in a sense), so maybe that is why I don't really like family time that much. Maybe it's because my parents do nag me like any other parents and I felt like whenever we were together I was always being nagged. I felt like my parents didn't ask me things like how was your day today or did you do anything fun today. It was just, "so how did you improve today?" Things like that (which are theoretically good), but most days I don't do anything that I consider a large improvement, but my parents want me to strive for that, and I know that's a good thing, but I found it very stressful that i would have to come up with something of some sort as not to disappoint them.
My brother and sister and my twin can all be very rowdy. I see myself as the substitute parent when my grandparents and parents aren't around. I do the cooking (to the best of my abilities), the cleaning up, the chores, and ordering the other kids to do chores. I feel like this should be my older sister (twin)'s job to set by example, but often times she is the worst of them all.
In Supernanny, technology is shown to be a big factor of why the family is so splintered. I agree. But I'm a hypocrite, I feel like I can't live without my computer and we are all often separated on our electronics. And not out and about. I don't know if I can change that part of me though. I will try to. The problem with me is that unlike others, I often understand my problems and faults, but I have no motivation to actually change them.
This post is getting quite long so I'm going to continue on the next post.
Monday, March 4, 2013
My Bad...
Glarg. Don't you hate it when you have to make a million different passwords for everything that you sign up for and the what not. And sometimes they are really specific too. You have to use a symbol and number and lowercase and blah. So you have this one password and you make a million different variations, but then you are stupid and you don't write down this stuff somewhere. And then you can't get into your accounts for things because you can't remember your password. Also or you know on your computer when you log into something and it remembers your password for you? Then you don't bother writing down your password because you think, "hey my computer remembers it for me, pish posh." WRONG. Bad idea as I have learned. Now I'm trying to connect one of my emails to my smartphone (Windows Phone: Nokia Lumia 900 >.<), but I can't remember my dang password. Goshies.
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