Before I get into why I don't have Facebook. Quick Update- I'm really in love with Exo right now. Ironically so, almost half the groups I get into is because of my sister. She introduces them to me and usually I hate them at first... I don't know why. But then I get sucked in slowly... Same thing happened with Arashi. I feel like deep down I knew I would get sucked in. Anyhoo. My bias of right now is Lay, but Luhan was my 1st Bias and still really close second. Also I think Suho is totally adorable as well. They really are all so cute. Lay and his dimple and his dancing-swoon. Luhan is so pretty.
Ok anyways I just saw this article on Yahoo (yes i know their articles are kind of eh... but I like perusing to see if there is anything interesting). And I saw this article about how Gen Y will always be unhappy. And good points were made. We are told we can do anything if we put our minds to it and i feel like I am probably in the same mindset of these people. I'm not thinking realistically about how to go about things. Nothing is going to be easy but I haven't felt real hardship in my life nor have i ever had a job not even a part time one. I've been pretty coddled my entire life and I know that is really bad.
Anyways, I'm one of those hold outs, I refuse to get a Facebook. I always say it will die like Myspace and everyone will move on to the next big thing. Although it sort of seems like that is slowly happening with Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr. I have none of these things, well I do have a Tumblr. But I'm unconventional about it. As in I don't follow anyone on Tumblr, i just reblog whatever I feel like. I look through tags of things that i feel like looking at, so I don't really get sucked in. Anyways, I'm someone who can easily get sucked into things and get obsessed with them. I know if I get a Facebook, this will happen and I don't want that to happen. Plus i like to keep my private life ... well private. Plus i don't really want to be bombarded with other people's lives. I have scrolled through facebook through my freinds' accounts and I get really sad. Because I feel envious of their interesting lives (Facebook Envy) and how my life is so boring in comparison. I don't need a constant reminder of that. I can see what a big time waste that is. If I'm going to waste time I'd rather waste it on watching my numerous shows and dramas.
I know I'm probably going to need social media later on in life, I can't be a total social hermit, but i'm going to be a hold out as long as I can. I feel like the people I want to keep in contact with I have in my contact list on my phone. And if they want to talk to me or send me pictures they can do so because they have my number.
My roommate is constantly posting pictures on facebook about pretty much every event in her life.... I think that is a bit excessive, but i guess she is in the group that wants to create that envy. i find it a bit frivolous, but to each their own.
Well back to studying. I'm procrastinating right now if that isn't obvious. Sigh. Well, Ciao Ciao (Reborn from Hitman Reborn if anyone knows)
Monday, November 4, 2013
Friday, June 21, 2013
2PM
One of my new favorite idol groups is 2PM. A Korean idol group. I'm still an Arashian, but I'm currently obsessed. They are seriously adorbs. Like I love love love their new album. ADTOY is my JAM. Lol. My bias has to be .... glah at first Nickhun, but Wooyoung is it for now. Nickhun tied for first or very close second. Then Taec and I generally do like the other members too. Aren't they cute?? They have amusing personalities too. They are Beastly idols! And I like they don't OD on autotune. Something I really dislike when kpop songs have way too much. It is for EFFECT people, don't ruin the whole song please. In my opinion at least.
Friend letdown
SO I have a dilemma. I wish I could make a BFF that stuck.Seriously I have already ended various BFF situations and it is horrendous. It makes me think, what the heck is wrong with me. Sigh. So the gal that is to be my roommate for the upcoming semester, is supposed to be one of my closer pals at school. But for my birthday that was at the beginning of June, I invited her to celebrate with me and a few other pals. And she told me that she had made other plans with other friends that she hadn't seen in like a year or two. And i understand that that is important, but I can't believe she scheduled it on my birthday weekend. I mean I didn't tell her beforehand that I was planning something then because I hadn't even thought of anything yet, but I assumed she would have left that weekend empty if she knew it was my birthday. The sad thing is what if she didn't?
But when I asked her she just pretty much immediately said that she couldn't make it because she had already made plans. I mean if I had just planned a hangout with pals I would have rescheduled it and have made the effort to go. But she didn't even do that. It was so black and white for her. She had plans already so she couldn't obviously change them and she didn't even try to move things around. I would have at least tried to do that. And fine if she really couldn't have made it, I kind of expected her to at least say on my birthday, "Hey I'll give you your present and card next time I see you!" Is that selfish and unreasonable? I know these things aren't about the gifts and such. But I gave her a gift, card, and handwritten note and tried to make her bday as special for her. And a lot of us helped celebrate her bday when we were at school and even people she just met got her a gift. So excuse me for feeling hurt. I have had many a bad birthdays. And have come to expect very little from them. I always have this little flame of hope that get smaller ever year. I wanted to at least see that effort from her but all I got was a Happy birthday (smiley face) text. SO I felt hurt, like that's all? Maybe I'm being a big diva about it, but we are supposedly close and going to be roommates.
I finally confronted her via text after some prodding from my siblings. And it did not end well. She made a lot of lame and weak excuses. And she said something along the lines that if this affects our friendship i respect that, Seriously???? It's not like that was my intention, I just wanted her to know how she had hurt me. If I didn't tell her it would bother me forever as it had for the past few weeks. And it would affect the way I treated her. And I feel like the things she says makes me feel like I'm the bad guy not that I'm saying she is one. But I wanted her to acknowledge how I felt. But I don't think we are that close because I was scared to confront her because i knew how she would react and she would take everything badly. She has messed up logic no offense. Ex: We and some other pals were putting our things in storage for the summer and we lived in different dorms, so i offered to help her move her things along with the other gals expecting the same would be done vice versa. Because it would be faster, duh right? Apparently not because she said it would be better for us to do it separately because it would be too chaotic. Wah? But I went to help nethertheless and that was only when she acknowledged I was right, that helping each other was better.
So our friendship is strained and I'm sad. Sigh. My sister made this BFF who is awesome and they talk everyday even in the summer. And I want to make a friend like that. Who I'm not scared to confront because I'm scared I'll get a really bad reaction or something like that. i don't really know how the living situation will be but I haven't told her I'm planning on transferring, If I can get in that is. I don't want to tell her until i get in. I'm planning to transfer by spring. So if i tell her I don't think it will go over well. But now I REALLY WANT TO TRANSFER.
And there goes another friendship. Man, I believe something must be wrong with me. Or do I have too many expectations of what friends should do for each other. I really don't know.. But I needed to vent somehow. Sigh.
But when I asked her she just pretty much immediately said that she couldn't make it because she had already made plans. I mean if I had just planned a hangout with pals I would have rescheduled it and have made the effort to go. But she didn't even do that. It was so black and white for her. She had plans already so she couldn't obviously change them and she didn't even try to move things around. I would have at least tried to do that. And fine if she really couldn't have made it, I kind of expected her to at least say on my birthday, "Hey I'll give you your present and card next time I see you!" Is that selfish and unreasonable? I know these things aren't about the gifts and such. But I gave her a gift, card, and handwritten note and tried to make her bday as special for her. And a lot of us helped celebrate her bday when we were at school and even people she just met got her a gift. So excuse me for feeling hurt. I have had many a bad birthdays. And have come to expect very little from them. I always have this little flame of hope that get smaller ever year. I wanted to at least see that effort from her but all I got was a Happy birthday (smiley face) text. SO I felt hurt, like that's all? Maybe I'm being a big diva about it, but we are supposedly close and going to be roommates.
I finally confronted her via text after some prodding from my siblings. And it did not end well. She made a lot of lame and weak excuses. And she said something along the lines that if this affects our friendship i respect that, Seriously???? It's not like that was my intention, I just wanted her to know how she had hurt me. If I didn't tell her it would bother me forever as it had for the past few weeks. And it would affect the way I treated her. And I feel like the things she says makes me feel like I'm the bad guy not that I'm saying she is one. But I wanted her to acknowledge how I felt. But I don't think we are that close because I was scared to confront her because i knew how she would react and she would take everything badly. She has messed up logic no offense. Ex: We and some other pals were putting our things in storage for the summer and we lived in different dorms, so i offered to help her move her things along with the other gals expecting the same would be done vice versa. Because it would be faster, duh right? Apparently not because she said it would be better for us to do it separately because it would be too chaotic. Wah? But I went to help nethertheless and that was only when she acknowledged I was right, that helping each other was better.
So our friendship is strained and I'm sad. Sigh. My sister made this BFF who is awesome and they talk everyday even in the summer. And I want to make a friend like that. Who I'm not scared to confront because I'm scared I'll get a really bad reaction or something like that. i don't really know how the living situation will be but I haven't told her I'm planning on transferring, If I can get in that is. I don't want to tell her until i get in. I'm planning to transfer by spring. So if i tell her I don't think it will go over well. But now I REALLY WANT TO TRANSFER.
And there goes another friendship. Man, I believe something must be wrong with me. Or do I have too many expectations of what friends should do for each other. I really don't know.. But I needed to vent somehow. Sigh.
New Haircut-SHORT!
So you know that thing where people say that you can change your life with a haircut, well I finally got one. At least I hope it is life changing. It's the shortest I've gotten I believe. And I actually like it although I totally got ripped off. I went to this Korean salon in NYC and this relatively simple haircut was $60. MIND BLOWN with SHOCK. And I was idiotic enough to pay like a $20 tip. Yea, I think I was soooo shocked I couldn't think coherently. Never again.
Anyhoo, on less shocking news. I had like hair halfway down my back, the longest I've ever grown it because I hadn't cut it in a year. I usually am forced to cut it earlier but I was at college. The last haircut I got I had double layers. Meaning regular layers and layers on top of my head which = all of my hair being different lengths. URG.
Now it is all relatively the same length. Although I chickened out of asking my mom to get highlights. Maybe another time. And I can now pull off headbands. Before they looked quite horrendous on me but now I believe I can pull them off. I can now do mature and cute. Lol. My sister said long hair made me look witchy. Though my mom says long hair suits me better than short. But short hair is so much more hassle free. And less time needed to wash. Yay.
You know when you get your hair washed at a salon and days after is still smells like the salon shampoo? Yup, but it smells nice. >.<
So hopefully I can be a more confident and assertive gal. Though I hope my hair doesn't grow too fast, I want to wear this style back to college.
And I finally got a callback for a job I applied to a few weeks ago. Sad. I mean these are minimum wage jobs, I know I don't have experience, but I still don't have a job. Lads, if it is this hard to find a summer temp job, what about real life? The big bucks, huh?
Also I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but I was pursuing business. Not because I was forced or because I really wanted to do so, but because it was practical and I had nothing else I wanted to do. Even though I went in pretty much knowing it was so not my thing, I pushed through hoping I could somehow make myself like it. But the only classes I really struggled in were those related to business. Big shocker, right? So I finally decided to change majors to ... Nutrition
I took a nutrition class for my science requirement and because it sounded easier than bio or chem. And because I love me my food. Now my dad has these grand plans for me telling me I should be a doctor. Glarg. I really don't see myself doing that and don't people who want to be doctors like already know since high school? Though how they know this eludes me. And I'm squeamish. I don't think I could give someone a shot let alone do surgery. Ehhhhh.....
Yea so now I am planning to transfer schools, fingers crossed I can get in. Most worried about my rec letters, I like talk to no teachers. Sigh me and my introverted self.
Anyhoo, on less shocking news. I had like hair halfway down my back, the longest I've ever grown it because I hadn't cut it in a year. I usually am forced to cut it earlier but I was at college. The last haircut I got I had double layers. Meaning regular layers and layers on top of my head which = all of my hair being different lengths. URG.
Now it is all relatively the same length. Although I chickened out of asking my mom to get highlights. Maybe another time. And I can now pull off headbands. Before they looked quite horrendous on me but now I believe I can pull them off. I can now do mature and cute. Lol. My sister said long hair made me look witchy. Though my mom says long hair suits me better than short. But short hair is so much more hassle free. And less time needed to wash. Yay.
You know when you get your hair washed at a salon and days after is still smells like the salon shampoo? Yup, but it smells nice. >.<
So hopefully I can be a more confident and assertive gal. Though I hope my hair doesn't grow too fast, I want to wear this style back to college.
And I finally got a callback for a job I applied to a few weeks ago. Sad. I mean these are minimum wage jobs, I know I don't have experience, but I still don't have a job. Lads, if it is this hard to find a summer temp job, what about real life? The big bucks, huh?
Also I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but I was pursuing business. Not because I was forced or because I really wanted to do so, but because it was practical and I had nothing else I wanted to do. Even though I went in pretty much knowing it was so not my thing, I pushed through hoping I could somehow make myself like it. But the only classes I really struggled in were those related to business. Big shocker, right? So I finally decided to change majors to ... Nutrition
I took a nutrition class for my science requirement and because it sounded easier than bio or chem. And because I love me my food. Now my dad has these grand plans for me telling me I should be a doctor. Glarg. I really don't see myself doing that and don't people who want to be doctors like already know since high school? Though how they know this eludes me. And I'm squeamish. I don't think I could give someone a shot let alone do surgery. Ehhhhh.....
Yea so now I am planning to transfer schools, fingers crossed I can get in. Most worried about my rec letters, I like talk to no teachers. Sigh me and my introverted self.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Cream Blush and Summer Jobs
So I had gotten a blush before, the l'oreal true match blush in rosy outlook. It was ok, but then I dropped it on the floor by accident and half of it fell out. Bummer, barely used it too, what a waste. But the thing I didn't know was how glittery it is, it is definitely not that matte. When I went out into the sun, my friends said I looked like a sparkly vampire from Twilight. Ugh, embarrassing much? Plus it was a bit too pink for me.
So recently I decided to try out a cream blush because I wanted something more matte, so I got Sonia Kashuk Creme blush in Rosey. The color is really gorgeous and I kind of didn't care if it actually went well with my skin tone because I just love the color. It sort of has an orangey undertone, others described it as coral, and I tried a bit out and it looks pretty good because it blends easily and really isn't that harsh. But still going to be out on the lookout for a good powder blush, since I got the brushes for them so don't want to waste them.
Still foraying into the girly world of makeup lol. I kind of gave up on eyeshadow since I'm so bad at it. Bleh.
Also on another note, I've grown my hair out pretty long and am due for a haircut. But I hate my boring dark hair. I kind of want to get highlights to lighten it up and a cool haircut, but am a bit afraid to ask my mom because I've never had anything like that before and feel a bit awkward to ask. But if I just cut it, it will grow back and i'll look the same as before. I really want to change things up so that I can feel like a different person. Not that awkward, quiet girl. Maybe boost some confidence? I dunno. Sigh. I want to change but I don't want to at the same time. It's complicated.
Side note: Gosh, looking for summer jobs, but I've never had one before, sad right? It's hard to find places that will take you without experience. But how the heck do I get experience if I can't get a job?
Also BTW I don't take credit for the following picture, the rights belong to mica g.... (whomever you may be, thanks!)
So recently I decided to try out a cream blush because I wanted something more matte, so I got Sonia Kashuk Creme blush in Rosey. The color is really gorgeous and I kind of didn't care if it actually went well with my skin tone because I just love the color. It sort of has an orangey undertone, others described it as coral, and I tried a bit out and it looks pretty good because it blends easily and really isn't that harsh. But still going to be out on the lookout for a good powder blush, since I got the brushes for them so don't want to waste them.
Still foraying into the girly world of makeup lol. I kind of gave up on eyeshadow since I'm so bad at it. Bleh.
Also on another note, I've grown my hair out pretty long and am due for a haircut. But I hate my boring dark hair. I kind of want to get highlights to lighten it up and a cool haircut, but am a bit afraid to ask my mom because I've never had anything like that before and feel a bit awkward to ask. But if I just cut it, it will grow back and i'll look the same as before. I really want to change things up so that I can feel like a different person. Not that awkward, quiet girl. Maybe boost some confidence? I dunno. Sigh. I want to change but I don't want to at the same time. It's complicated.
Side note: Gosh, looking for summer jobs, but I've never had one before, sad right? It's hard to find places that will take you without experience. But how the heck do I get experience if I can't get a job?
Also BTW I don't take credit for the following picture, the rights belong to mica g.... (whomever you may be, thanks!)
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Eyeshadow
Oww. My eyes hurt. I tried using eyeshadow today, my 3rd time ever. Fail, but not as big of a fail as other times. Now I really regret buying eyeshadow and brushes when I don't know how to use them properly. I keep getting particles everywhere and into my eyes. I constantly look like either a panda, raccoon, or just have a black eye. Gosh, none of the other colors really show up well, just the black. I should just stick to eyeliner and blush. Plus when I use eyeliner on the waterline, my eyes water and I'm using pencil, so it isn't waterproof so it just runs. That's why I just put it on the top lid now because it's really annoying. I wonder how girls put makeup on so pro like. Maybe because they started doing this stuff since like middle school and I'm just starting now in college. I still believe you shouldn't wear a lot of makeup, but I like how eyeliner darkens my eyes so I look more alert rather than sleepy eyed. And a little blush (even though my face usually gets easily flushed) adds a warm glow to your face.
My Hair Problems
Like every girl (or almost I believe) we care very deeply for our hair. I remember as a young girl when I would get these horrendous haircuts and would burst into tears after. My mom would always say why are you crying, it's just hair. But hair can really change the way you look. My idols, Arashi, are constantly changing their hairstyles, some make them remarkably handsome, some are just a bit cringe worthy (not that it decreases my love for them, but I always hope that that hairstyle would pass and never come back. I'm quite delighted that Sho has changed back to his "princess" hair. I also really love his 5x10 haircut.
Anyways, in the beginning of the year (well last summer) I got a haircut before going to school. I asked for side bangs (I didn't really get that as I requested) and layers because I have fine hair and I don't like the one length cut. But the lady asked me if I wanted layers on top and I didn't really know what that meant but I said sure and the outcome was that almost every part of my hair was a different length. At first it just looked ridiculous, but as it grew out it looked better. But it's still all different lengths which drives me crazy. So since the semester is almost over, only 3 more weeks!!! Still no job, well it's my fault since I haven't exactly stared looking nor have I made my resume. T.T So I really want to change my hair in a unique manner, not just another layered haircut. I kind of wanted a bob, but I got my weird layered haircut instead. Sigh.
So I have really dark hair, like black, and it's so boring. So I want to try to get lighter brown highlights. I've never dyed my hair or anything of the sort, I am au naturel. But I feel like I really need a change.But I'm a bit scared it won't look good and unlike a bad haircut, you can hide by tying it up or it will eventually grow out. But if you color it and it looks weird, you can't hide that. So I'm worried about that. Also I'm worried about asking my mom. Also I looked online and highlights are expensive!!! So I'm worried about the price. Sigh.
Anyways, in the beginning of the year (well last summer) I got a haircut before going to school. I asked for side bangs (I didn't really get that as I requested) and layers because I have fine hair and I don't like the one length cut. But the lady asked me if I wanted layers on top and I didn't really know what that meant but I said sure and the outcome was that almost every part of my hair was a different length. At first it just looked ridiculous, but as it grew out it looked better. But it's still all different lengths which drives me crazy. So since the semester is almost over, only 3 more weeks!!! Still no job, well it's my fault since I haven't exactly stared looking nor have I made my resume. T.T So I really want to change my hair in a unique manner, not just another layered haircut. I kind of wanted a bob, but I got my weird layered haircut instead. Sigh.
So I have really dark hair, like black, and it's so boring. So I want to try to get lighter brown highlights. I've never dyed my hair or anything of the sort, I am au naturel. But I feel like I really need a change.But I'm a bit scared it won't look good and unlike a bad haircut, you can hide by tying it up or it will eventually grow out. But if you color it and it looks weird, you can't hide that. So I'm worried about that. Also I'm worried about asking my mom. Also I looked online and highlights are expensive!!! So I'm worried about the price. Sigh.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Finally understanding what it means to be a girl
Growing up I didn't enjoy clothes shopping at all nor was I interested in makeup. I prefer food shopping (which half the time I still do) But in the past year or two I started getting interested in these things like clothes and now even makeup. I'm a total noob.
Story Time: Most girls in middle school or elementary school beg their moms to let them pierce their ears or so I read in books and movies, but are often denied. Well, it was the opposite for me. Once we were in a mall and my mom was like, "Hey why don't you go and get your ears pierced?" and I was like No, let's go to the food court instead. Yes, I was that kind of child. I just didn't like the pain (staple looking instrument) I heard it hurts more the older you get to get your ears pierced, so I'm just getting more worried about that. I might never do it. Plus EAR INFECTION! Yup, I'm a bit of a wuss. Don't like unnecessary pain like tattoos and piercings!!
Ok, so I've really gotten into shopping now. I just want to keep evolving my wardrobe. I was a sweats and sneakers kind of gal before, that's pretty much what I wore everyday to school. Because I didn't feel the need to get all dressed up in high school, but now in college I dress much better. I'm developing a style I guess. I really love boots! I don't think I'll really ever be a high heels kind of gal since I have the worst sense of balance ever! But boots are awesome, but I still love a really comfy pair of sneakers. I got cooler looking ones that are black and have some bright pink and blue. I used to get gray... yup.
So a few months ago, I purchased my first bit of makeup. I got some mascara and lipstick. Recently I got two cheap eyeliners. And today I went to Ulta with some buddies for the first time. And got a Real Techniques brush set, a L'Oreal True Match Blush in Rosy Outlook, and a NYX Naked Eye Shadow Pallete. Gosh makeup is expensive. Spent $40. Also need to get a eyeliner sharpener.
I feel like I should learn how to put on makeup. But I hate the feeling that I need to put on makeup to be pretty. One day I want to meet someone who will like me au natural rather than slathered on with makeup.
But for jobs and later on where it is kind of dictated by society that you should wear a bit of makeup I don't want to be totally clueless. Hopefully when I can make some dough and learn how to apply this stuff properly I can get more expensive stuff like Tarte, Urban Decay, Stilla, etc. But for now I will stick with my cheaper stuff. Which I still find to be quite expensive!
So this is what it means to be a girl huh? I mean luckily for my parents I only started feeling like a girl later on so I don't blow a boatload of cash on girly stuff. I want to make some money so I can buy things without feeling guilty. My friend has a ton of makeup like a mini store. I'm quite shocked. She has a whole drawer full of nail polish, probably 20+ lipsticks, etc. And some brand name stuff like Chanel, Urban Decay, etc. I don't aspire to have that much, but I should just shop through her stuff lol.
Story Time: Most girls in middle school or elementary school beg their moms to let them pierce their ears or so I read in books and movies, but are often denied. Well, it was the opposite for me. Once we were in a mall and my mom was like, "Hey why don't you go and get your ears pierced?" and I was like No, let's go to the food court instead. Yes, I was that kind of child. I just didn't like the pain (staple looking instrument) I heard it hurts more the older you get to get your ears pierced, so I'm just getting more worried about that. I might never do it. Plus EAR INFECTION! Yup, I'm a bit of a wuss. Don't like unnecessary pain like tattoos and piercings!!
Ok, so I've really gotten into shopping now. I just want to keep evolving my wardrobe. I was a sweats and sneakers kind of gal before, that's pretty much what I wore everyday to school. Because I didn't feel the need to get all dressed up in high school, but now in college I dress much better. I'm developing a style I guess. I really love boots! I don't think I'll really ever be a high heels kind of gal since I have the worst sense of balance ever! But boots are awesome, but I still love a really comfy pair of sneakers. I got cooler looking ones that are black and have some bright pink and blue. I used to get gray... yup.
So a few months ago, I purchased my first bit of makeup. I got some mascara and lipstick. Recently I got two cheap eyeliners. And today I went to Ulta with some buddies for the first time. And got a Real Techniques brush set, a L'Oreal True Match Blush in Rosy Outlook, and a NYX Naked Eye Shadow Pallete. Gosh makeup is expensive. Spent $40. Also need to get a eyeliner sharpener.
I feel like I should learn how to put on makeup. But I hate the feeling that I need to put on makeup to be pretty. One day I want to meet someone who will like me au natural rather than slathered on with makeup.
But for jobs and later on where it is kind of dictated by society that you should wear a bit of makeup I don't want to be totally clueless. Hopefully when I can make some dough and learn how to apply this stuff properly I can get more expensive stuff like Tarte, Urban Decay, Stilla, etc. But for now I will stick with my cheaper stuff. Which I still find to be quite expensive!
So this is what it means to be a girl huh? I mean luckily for my parents I only started feeling like a girl later on so I don't blow a boatload of cash on girly stuff. I want to make some money so I can buy things without feeling guilty. My friend has a ton of makeup like a mini store. I'm quite shocked. She has a whole drawer full of nail polish, probably 20+ lipsticks, etc. And some brand name stuff like Chanel, Urban Decay, etc. I don't aspire to have that much, but I should just shop through her stuff lol.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
My tentative schedule for fall semester and my annoying "friend" problem
This is what I want to take.
1. Intro to Accounting Part 2
2. Intro to Computer and Stats
3. Social Psychology
4. ______ language class
5. Philosophy class: Critical thinking
6. Legal studies class: Law and the Consumer
7.Nutrition and Health
All together this would be 24 credits. I'm scared I won't be able to handle all of this. Right now I take 18 credits and last semester I took 19 credits. I felt ok then, but a lot of these classes will have a boatload of reading which can be very tiring. Also I'm not good with math at all so I'm worried about accounting and stats. I feel like I should either cut one of these classes and take 21 credits which is still a lot or just try it out and if I really can't do it I should drop one class after like a week.
I mean I need to talk to my parents and my adviser. But you know how I often complain about my procrastination, well often only under some sort of pressure do I get things done. Which is bad. But if I have a tougher work load I won't slack off as much right? Hopefully so or this work load could kill me. T.T
I want to push myself because I don't know what is my limit. But I'm worried too. What if it is too much and = mental breakdown?
Anywho on another note. Glarg I have this "friend" who is always complaining that he is bored. And he is also very condescending as well. Saying things like "that is so easy, why don't you understand that?" well not to me but other friends in general. When I met him I got that impression, but than I got to know him and he seemed ok, a bit boring and lackluster in the personality dept but relatively harmless. But lately he has gone back to that 1st impression. He is just annoying to be around. He is supposedly in so many clubs but still complains of boredom.
Also when I first met him and I told him I was a business major, he said his roommate was one too. And when I tell him I'm busy, He has the gall to say, "Why?" "My roommate is a business major and he has tons of free time." That is so insulting. Just because we are the same major doesn't really mean anything.1. I also take other classes as well like gen eds. 2. I find other ways to occupy myself so that I'm not bored. And who says that, seriously. Gosh.
I introduced him to Arashi because he kept complaining of boredom and I was happy to try to get people to like them. And I sent him like 50 songs. He doesn't appreciate the hard work of a fan and how hard it is to support my Arashi through the fandom and a lot of restrictions and what not. All he says is "Isn't it easy?" And I put my foot down. NO you don't deserve to get to know Arashi.. Put in the effort and you shall get rewarded. Instead of complaining all the time go out and do something ok? We are all getting sick and tired of your complaints. Yes, it was sad that you supposedly didn't have friends in high school, but if this was how you acted as well (unconsciously too I must add) then I can kind of see why. Is that mean yes, but is it the truth, yes. A girl can only tolerate so much before she explodes. And this is me exploding all up on this blog. My place of ranting. And as you can see totally random. Often my headings probably only have to do with like 40% of the actually post. The rest is just a rant on my life.
1. Intro to Accounting Part 2
2. Intro to Computer and Stats
3. Social Psychology
4. ______ language class
5. Philosophy class: Critical thinking
6. Legal studies class: Law and the Consumer
7.Nutrition and Health
All together this would be 24 credits. I'm scared I won't be able to handle all of this. Right now I take 18 credits and last semester I took 19 credits. I felt ok then, but a lot of these classes will have a boatload of reading which can be very tiring. Also I'm not good with math at all so I'm worried about accounting and stats. I feel like I should either cut one of these classes and take 21 credits which is still a lot or just try it out and if I really can't do it I should drop one class after like a week.
I mean I need to talk to my parents and my adviser. But you know how I often complain about my procrastination, well often only under some sort of pressure do I get things done. Which is bad. But if I have a tougher work load I won't slack off as much right? Hopefully so or this work load could kill me. T.T
I want to push myself because I don't know what is my limit. But I'm worried too. What if it is too much and = mental breakdown?
Anywho on another note. Glarg I have this "friend" who is always complaining that he is bored. And he is also very condescending as well. Saying things like "that is so easy, why don't you understand that?" well not to me but other friends in general. When I met him I got that impression, but than I got to know him and he seemed ok, a bit boring and lackluster in the personality dept but relatively harmless. But lately he has gone back to that 1st impression. He is just annoying to be around. He is supposedly in so many clubs but still complains of boredom.
Also when I first met him and I told him I was a business major, he said his roommate was one too. And when I tell him I'm busy, He has the gall to say, "Why?" "My roommate is a business major and he has tons of free time." That is so insulting. Just because we are the same major doesn't really mean anything.1. I also take other classes as well like gen eds. 2. I find other ways to occupy myself so that I'm not bored. And who says that, seriously. Gosh.
I introduced him to Arashi because he kept complaining of boredom and I was happy to try to get people to like them. And I sent him like 50 songs. He doesn't appreciate the hard work of a fan and how hard it is to support my Arashi through the fandom and a lot of restrictions and what not. All he says is "Isn't it easy?" And I put my foot down. NO you don't deserve to get to know Arashi.. Put in the effort and you shall get rewarded. Instead of complaining all the time go out and do something ok? We are all getting sick and tired of your complaints. Yes, it was sad that you supposedly didn't have friends in high school, but if this was how you acted as well (unconsciously too I must add) then I can kind of see why. Is that mean yes, but is it the truth, yes. A girl can only tolerate so much before she explodes. And this is me exploding all up on this blog. My place of ranting. And as you can see totally random. Often my headings probably only have to do with like 40% of the actually post. The rest is just a rant on my life.
Why cursing is BAD!
In one episode of America's Supernanny, I saw a young child of perhaps 5 or 6 cuss. As in the F word, people. By golly that was quite horrifying. One of the things I really dislike is cussing esp. in public. Profanity is cathartic, but I feel like it is something you should say in your head or in private by yourself. I don't cuss out loud and only once in a while in my head or in private when I get angry. I find it embarrassing to do so in public. I guess you can compare it to peeing in the streets where everyone can see you. That's what a potty mouth is to me. It's just foul and should be done in private.
Anyways beyond that rant. In my house, since as I mentioned my parents aren't really around and I am the substitute parent. Growing up I instilled in my younger siblings then the same rules of not cussing. What I consider cursing: Obviously the F word, the S word, the D word, the H*ll word, the A word (another word for donkey or tushie) and mean spirited and politically incorrect things like misusing the word gay or retarded. One of my pet peeves is when people say "that is so gay" or "you are retarded." 1. That is highly offensive to people who are mentally retarded and people who are gay. You are turning something into a negative thing. You are associating a negative connotation with that word. You are equating the word gay= stupid and that isn't true at all. If you think something is stupid than just say that. 2. I hate that this is so commonly entrenched into society, this way of thinking. I wanted at least my younger siblings to not do this. I'm scared that since I'm in college I can't stop them from picking these things up from their schoolmates and their friends esp. at this malleable age of middle school and the beginnings of high school.
Story time: We (my siblings and I) were watching H*ll's Kitchen. And in our family we can't even say the name of the show. My younger sister came up with a nickname, "Bell's Chicken"." So as you may or may not know, Gordan Ramsey cusses like a maniac. They usually beep out the F word, but other words are very much there. And after sitting there you get a little brainwashed. And afterwards we were setting up to eat dinner and my younger siblings were dragging their feet to help and I got very angry and I just yelled, "Get off your lazy a**es" And it was like an earth shattering moment. I mean if was the most horrible feeling I had every had (well not really, but it felt horrible). And they were teasing me and saying oh you said a bad word and they hold it over my head even to today. I'm so ashamed. This may sound very bizarre as it may be quite commonplace in other families. But I take the no cursing thing pretty seriously.
It may be bad but I sort of taught this to my siblings my shaming them. I associate saying a bad word with a feeling of shame (as I felt when I cursed) to get them not to curse. I mean I find it pretty effective until they can understand for themselves that it is a bad thing. I was never taught this by my parents, I came to this understanding that one shouldn't curse. It is a graceless action. My parents don't often curse and even if they did they aren't really around. See how easily swayed I was to curse because I heard it for a while. Imagine a family that just all cursed at each other of course a child would think this is normal and ok to do. And copy it. That is exactly why you must teach by example.
And I'm not sure if this comes off like we are some overly Christian family or something like that. Not at all, we are pretty much agnostic. I don't think you have to be religious at all to have good morals and ethics. Not that there is anything wrong with being religious, but it's just not my cup of tea. I esp. dislike when people try to convert you or force their beliefs on you. Some lady randomly stopped me (just me, weird and she was already talking to other people, so why did she stop me??) and asked me "Can I ask you something?" And i thought she wanted directions or something, but she was like, "Do you study the Bible?" and i shook my head no and she said "do you know about the Heavenly Mother" and I kept shaking my head and she went on a little bit and said something about reaching eternal life or something like that. And me being polite was shaking head no because again I mention I hate people trying to convert me. I kind of just wanted to spew out I'm agnostic/atheist. But I feel like she would just try harder to convert me and I really wanted to leave. One thing I don't understand is, why the need to achieve eternal life? My thing is just try to live this life to the best and you don't have to live forever and ever.I'm sorry for my rant. >.<
I mean I've learned a lot and I definitely want to learn from my parents what they did right and learn from their parenting mistakes. I know I have a temper sometimes and just scream at people to do things, but I'm trying to improve that. Self improvement people! lol Ok I have to study blah. Also SPRING BREAK! ... But since I procrastinated so much I have a boatload of work to do. Including a research paper and presentation,studying, reading, glarg. Why my procrastinator self, why???? Need to work on this ASAP!
Anyways beyond that rant. In my house, since as I mentioned my parents aren't really around and I am the substitute parent. Growing up I instilled in my younger siblings then the same rules of not cussing. What I consider cursing: Obviously the F word, the S word, the D word, the H*ll word, the A word (another word for donkey or tushie) and mean spirited and politically incorrect things like misusing the word gay or retarded. One of my pet peeves is when people say "that is so gay" or "you are retarded." 1. That is highly offensive to people who are mentally retarded and people who are gay. You are turning something into a negative thing. You are associating a negative connotation with that word. You are equating the word gay= stupid and that isn't true at all. If you think something is stupid than just say that. 2. I hate that this is so commonly entrenched into society, this way of thinking. I wanted at least my younger siblings to not do this. I'm scared that since I'm in college I can't stop them from picking these things up from their schoolmates and their friends esp. at this malleable age of middle school and the beginnings of high school.
Story time: We (my siblings and I) were watching H*ll's Kitchen. And in our family we can't even say the name of the show. My younger sister came up with a nickname, "Bell's Chicken"." So as you may or may not know, Gordan Ramsey cusses like a maniac. They usually beep out the F word, but other words are very much there. And after sitting there you get a little brainwashed. And afterwards we were setting up to eat dinner and my younger siblings were dragging their feet to help and I got very angry and I just yelled, "Get off your lazy a**es" And it was like an earth shattering moment. I mean if was the most horrible feeling I had every had (well not really, but it felt horrible). And they were teasing me and saying oh you said a bad word and they hold it over my head even to today. I'm so ashamed. This may sound very bizarre as it may be quite commonplace in other families. But I take the no cursing thing pretty seriously.
It may be bad but I sort of taught this to my siblings my shaming them. I associate saying a bad word with a feeling of shame (as I felt when I cursed) to get them not to curse. I mean I find it pretty effective until they can understand for themselves that it is a bad thing. I was never taught this by my parents, I came to this understanding that one shouldn't curse. It is a graceless action. My parents don't often curse and even if they did they aren't really around. See how easily swayed I was to curse because I heard it for a while. Imagine a family that just all cursed at each other of course a child would think this is normal and ok to do. And copy it. That is exactly why you must teach by example.
And I'm not sure if this comes off like we are some overly Christian family or something like that. Not at all, we are pretty much agnostic. I don't think you have to be religious at all to have good morals and ethics. Not that there is anything wrong with being religious, but it's just not my cup of tea. I esp. dislike when people try to convert you or force their beliefs on you. Some lady randomly stopped me (just me, weird and she was already talking to other people, so why did she stop me??) and asked me "Can I ask you something?" And i thought she wanted directions or something, but she was like, "Do you study the Bible?" and i shook my head no and she said "do you know about the Heavenly Mother" and I kept shaking my head and she went on a little bit and said something about reaching eternal life or something like that. And me being polite was shaking head no because again I mention I hate people trying to convert me. I kind of just wanted to spew out I'm agnostic/atheist. But I feel like she would just try harder to convert me and I really wanted to leave. One thing I don't understand is, why the need to achieve eternal life? My thing is just try to live this life to the best and you don't have to live forever and ever.I'm sorry for my rant. >.<
I mean I've learned a lot and I definitely want to learn from my parents what they did right and learn from their parenting mistakes. I know I have a temper sometimes and just scream at people to do things, but I'm trying to improve that. Self improvement people! lol Ok I have to study blah. Also SPRING BREAK! ... But since I procrastinated so much I have a boatload of work to do. Including a research paper and presentation,studying, reading, glarg. Why my procrastinator self, why???? Need to work on this ASAP!
Everybody needs some Arash in their life!!
I think this is true. Arashi to me is just a burst happiness and positive energy and full of love. I think everyone needs something like this, ideally of course it would be Arashi, but that's a bit impossible. I just felt like I needed to say this cause I was watching America's Supernanny and it really made me think. I was seeing these horribly out of control kids and parents. It made me think of my family.
I think my family has some of these faults (like all families) to a certain degree, definitely not to the point of these kids. Both my parents work extremely hard and when I was growing up and even now I rarely saw them during the week because they were often gone by the time I got up and would come home late at night. I knew they did it to support our family. So me and my siblings were raised by my grandparents on my father's side. They lived with us and did and still do so many things for us. Like cooking and cleaning and all those things that parents do for us.
Most kids feel neglected and are very upset when they don't see their parents like this. But for me, I dunno if this is weird or a bit messed up, but I didn't particularly mind maybe because I was used to it. But I enjoyed my freedom (in a sense), so maybe that is why I don't really like family time that much. Maybe it's because my parents do nag me like any other parents and I felt like whenever we were together I was always being nagged. I felt like my parents didn't ask me things like how was your day today or did you do anything fun today. It was just, "so how did you improve today?" Things like that (which are theoretically good), but most days I don't do anything that I consider a large improvement, but my parents want me to strive for that, and I know that's a good thing, but I found it very stressful that i would have to come up with something of some sort as not to disappoint them.
My brother and sister and my twin can all be very rowdy. I see myself as the substitute parent when my grandparents and parents aren't around. I do the cooking (to the best of my abilities), the cleaning up, the chores, and ordering the other kids to do chores. I feel like this should be my older sister (twin)'s job to set by example, but often times she is the worst of them all.
In Supernanny, technology is shown to be a big factor of why the family is so splintered. I agree. But I'm a hypocrite, I feel like I can't live without my computer and we are all often separated on our electronics. And not out and about. I don't know if I can change that part of me though. I will try to. The problem with me is that unlike others, I often understand my problems and faults, but I have no motivation to actually change them.
This post is getting quite long so I'm going to continue on the next post.
I think my family has some of these faults (like all families) to a certain degree, definitely not to the point of these kids. Both my parents work extremely hard and when I was growing up and even now I rarely saw them during the week because they were often gone by the time I got up and would come home late at night. I knew they did it to support our family. So me and my siblings were raised by my grandparents on my father's side. They lived with us and did and still do so many things for us. Like cooking and cleaning and all those things that parents do for us.
Most kids feel neglected and are very upset when they don't see their parents like this. But for me, I dunno if this is weird or a bit messed up, but I didn't particularly mind maybe because I was used to it. But I enjoyed my freedom (in a sense), so maybe that is why I don't really like family time that much. Maybe it's because my parents do nag me like any other parents and I felt like whenever we were together I was always being nagged. I felt like my parents didn't ask me things like how was your day today or did you do anything fun today. It was just, "so how did you improve today?" Things like that (which are theoretically good), but most days I don't do anything that I consider a large improvement, but my parents want me to strive for that, and I know that's a good thing, but I found it very stressful that i would have to come up with something of some sort as not to disappoint them.
My brother and sister and my twin can all be very rowdy. I see myself as the substitute parent when my grandparents and parents aren't around. I do the cooking (to the best of my abilities), the cleaning up, the chores, and ordering the other kids to do chores. I feel like this should be my older sister (twin)'s job to set by example, but often times she is the worst of them all.
In Supernanny, technology is shown to be a big factor of why the family is so splintered. I agree. But I'm a hypocrite, I feel like I can't live without my computer and we are all often separated on our electronics. And not out and about. I don't know if I can change that part of me though. I will try to. The problem with me is that unlike others, I often understand my problems and faults, but I have no motivation to actually change them.
This post is getting quite long so I'm going to continue on the next post.
Monday, March 4, 2013
My Bad...
Glarg. Don't you hate it when you have to make a million different passwords for everything that you sign up for and the what not. And sometimes they are really specific too. You have to use a symbol and number and lowercase and blah. So you have this one password and you make a million different variations, but then you are stupid and you don't write down this stuff somewhere. And then you can't get into your accounts for things because you can't remember your password. Also or you know on your computer when you log into something and it remembers your password for you? Then you don't bother writing down your password because you think, "hey my computer remembers it for me, pish posh." WRONG. Bad idea as I have learned. Now I'm trying to connect one of my emails to my smartphone (Windows Phone: Nokia Lumia 900 >.<), but I can't remember my dang password. Goshies.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
A Day of Fun
Going back to college this weekend. My month of sitting in my bed watching dramas all day is over. I literally sat in my bed and ate food. Yup, sad. Oh well. I did venture out into the world with a couple of friends and it was quite awesome. I went to Kino's and saw this poster and I couldn't resist taking a picture. As I continue to obsess over the Arafes DVD.
Then we went to get some awesome Japanese curry. I got Hamburger curry. Super yummy. And then we went and got gelato. They have nutella flavored gelato (well it's not called that but it sure tastes like it!!)
And we sang Karaoke for 2 hours. Simple and fun. It was really nice weather too. Plus I got some boots at a thrift store for $17.50. Yay. I love boots!
Then we went to get some awesome Japanese curry. I got Hamburger curry. Super yummy. And then we went and got gelato. They have nutella flavored gelato (well it's not called that but it sure tastes like it!!)
And we sang Karaoke for 2 hours. Simple and fun. It was really nice weather too. Plus I got some boots at a thrift store for $17.50. Yay. I love boots!
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| Arafes Poster. Yay! |
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| Hamburger Curry |
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| Gelato!!!!! |
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| Times Square at night! |
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